Party anxiety...

From my childhood until my late 20's I was very, VERY shy. Example: I was scared to go to restaurants, because I was afraid to talk to the waitstaff. Times have changed. At 50 I am a confident person. I am a public speaker, I deal with customers all day every day. I am just FINE. Fine, that is, until I get invited to a party where there will be strangers. That is an invitation to anxiety.



My husband sweetly asked me to join him at the Christmas gathering of a volunteer organization he belongs to. I, of course, agreed. And then I fretted and worried and stewed. Making conversation with strangers? AWKWARD. The party was at a local restaurant. There was to be an hour of "cocktails" followed by supper. Yet, there was no room to really mix and mingle and chat. I pushed out of my comfort level, made eye contact, shook hands, asked questions and chatted. All of this in cramped close quarters. I played the role, and soon found myself having (gasp!) fun. (Interesting aside: I was chatting with a lovely young mom. She told me that she, her husband and 11 year old son had just moved here this past summer. I asked her if they were settling in well. She said they were, then added, "My son just loves playing outside!" Upon hearing this I thought, "They must have moved from a city where the child could not play out of doors." She continued, "At home he couldn't go out much, what with the weather and the grizzlies." GRIZZLIES? "Where did you live?" I asked. "Kodiak." Bears? There is a parenting issue I had never encountered!!!)



I learned a new trick that I am going to remember. When at a gathering like this, I did (and will do in the future) this: find a very chatty person and sit with THEM. That very chatty person will engage others and ensure that conversation flows. When I am near a chatty person I can follow their lead and help the give and take to flow.



As a formerly shy person, I continue to learn coping tricks. This is a good one, so I share with my readers who might have similar "party anxiety."