Decision time...

Luna goat is not doing well.

Regular blog readers are probably thinking, "I've read that before."  This goat has had medical ups and downs since she came here, and they have been reported... because I love her.

When she first came to live here she was thin and had a rough coat.  She also had an adorable 3 day old kid at her side.

I fed her and fed her and she gained weight and became glossy and sleek.  But more than that she became my friend. I had no idea that goats were as smart and friendly as she showed me they are.  When I went out in the pasture Luna would find me and lean her head against my leg.  If I sat she would rest her chin on my shoulder, relax her big body and sigh deeply, showing every sign of contentment.  It is not exaggerating to say that we grew to love each other.  But she never really thrived.  As soon as the weather grew cold she became shivery and went off her feed.  And so it has been every year.

She had a good summer last year, and she went into the fall almost chubby, with a lovely, thick coat.

 But by December the cold was bothering her and she wasn't eating enough.  I made her a thick coat, I brought her treats.  Sometimes she would eat them, but often she wouldn't.

Now she is not eating much at all, and we bring her warm water with goat electrolytes a couple of times a day. Sometimes she drinks it down, other times she does not.  Her veterinarian has seen her, over and over. We are in touch often.  I give Luna pain medication (hiding in a banana slice that I have to insist she swallow,) every morning to keep her comfortable.

 I try, as I get older, to listen more to the soft, quiet voice inside me.  Yesterday I heard that voice and it told me that I am keeping Luna alive for me, not for her.  And the truth of that resonated with me.  So now I am looking hard at choices.

Meanwhile, I will brush her, an activity that still makes her squint her eyes shut with happiness. I will tempt her with slices of sweet apple.  And her doctor and I will decide what happens next.  I have tried to do what is right for her since the moment we met. I hope I will continue to do so.