R E L I E F...

About a month ago my chest was hurting. I didn't think too much about it, until it lasted for a couple of weeks, and wasn't getting any better.  In fact, it was worse. And I was a little short of breath. And my sternum was numb and tingly. I felt tired all the time.   About that same time a sweet customer/friend had similar symptoms and ended up having a quadruple bypass. I began to feel very much in touch with my mortality. I was aware of my heart beating in my chest, something I normally pay very little attention to.

My father died from heart problems, as did his father.  So there was family history.  And I'm overweight and out of shape and pushing 60. Ever since my daughter was born (29 years ago) I have thought, "I just want to live long enough to see her grown and settled." She is grown and settled now, but suddenly I realized, I am NOT ready to be done with my very wonderful life. I don't want some other woman marrying my man, I don't want my animals to be homeless,  and I DO want to meet my grand-babies. So I called my doctor.

I very much dislike going to the doctor. I don't like how expensive it is, I don't like how they schedule a zillion tests, I don't like feeling like a sick person. And really, I was probably FINE. It was probably nothing.  But off I went. My doctor seemed concerned.  She sent me to the hospital for blood work and chest x'rays, an EKG and an echo-cardiogram. Meanwhile, I saw my chiropractor, and a few days after he worked his magic I began to feel better.  I still have an occasional ache in my chest, but mostly I feel fine.  No medical people called me with any news about the tests, but I had a scheduled follow up  appointment for this afternoon. I worried a little, wishing I knew the test results, but figured if they'd found anything awful someone would have called.  And since no one did, I chose to believe that no news was good news and kept marching forward, feeding animals, grooming dogs, cooking meals, living life.

I felt pretty good, so wasn't terribly worried when I went to see my doctor this afternoon.  And sure enough, all my blood work was great, my blood pressure terrific, my EKG, echo-cardiogram, and all the tests prove that I am doing just fine.  "So I am not dying?" I quipped.  My doctor gave me a hard look. "We are ALL dying," she said.  I pondered, then revised my question.  "I am not in imminent danger of keeling over from a heart attack?"  She nodded.

I feel quite relieved. There is so much to look forward to in the future, and it's a relief to know my heart is up to keeping me here to see the wonders unfold.