Life Lessons...

When I was 8 or 9 years old I used to flush my mothers cigarettes down the toilet in an effort to get her to quit smoking.

And my life, since then, has been one lesson after another on how my actions do not, can not, will not, change another person. Just as I cannot stop the sun from rising, the world from turning, the plants from growing in summer, I cannot change others.

It seems to be something in my genetic makeup. My sisters are champions in the effort to bend their friends, lovers and children to march to the tune they play. We just can't seem to let it go. If we just phrase it right, or have enough of a "nutty" over something (one sisters tactic!) then surely, surely the ones we care about will see the light and do things our way. Shrinks call this, "control issues."

I mostly have my "control issues" under control. But there, in the back of my head, is a steady drone, "tell him this and he'll stop doing that." I still want to flush the things that concern me down the great, sucking, cosmic toilet. I believe it is my life lesson to practice, again and again, letting go. My mantra to quell the drone in my head? "Flushing won't fix it."